Rebellion!

I am not on a diet. I repeat, I am not on a diet. I don't believe in dieting. I am currently affecting a temporary lifestyle change. No, they're not the same thing. Let me explain.

I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who I will refer to here as Panda. She's happy, talkative, cuddly and lactose intolerant. Anybody who is lactose intolerant can tell you how uncomfortable ingesting dairy can be. With a baby who can't express what hurts much more than to cry, it's enough to break a mother's heart.

I've been told that many moms at this point just stop breastfeeding and put the baby on a soy formula. Of course, I'm not most moms and I rarely do things the easy way.

I've cut dairy out of my diet as much as I could. Some things are made with milk as the wet ingredient but they contain so little that it doesn't affect her. We've learned quickly how to discover what the problem food. Even when I really, really want it to be something else, as will be explained later on.

Due to a thyroid problem, I'm not supposed to eat much soy so finding substitutes for certain things has been difficult though surprisingly fun. Rice milk is really good on cereal. Chocolate almond milk is really good to drink straight. I put almonds on salads instead of cheese.

But, for the most part, I've done without. For some things, it was a fight. Especially the chocolate.

For a very long time, I refused to believe that milk chocolate was causing a problem. However, not eating any for 2 days gave conclusive proof that milk chocolate was causing my daughter to be uncomfortable.

I fought it. I ate more just because I wasn't supposed to. I'd given up milk. I'd given up cheese. Please, don't ask me to give up chocolate. Reluctantly, I got rid of all the chocolate candy in the house. I stopped making chocolate chip cookies. When I went grocery shopping, I cried over the hostess cupcakes and the donuts.

Since giving up everything I have, I still have rebellious impulses. I have to change the channel when a pizza commercial comes on. When my family is eating enchiladas, my turkey wrap just doesn't look appetizing. Yes, I do have rebellious impulses. But, it's not for me. It's for my daughter.

And it's only temporary.

Right?